Pain and I are slowly becoming one

“Get ready to dig deeply in 2013, Leo. You’re going into a phase of complete and total metamorphosis. This will require considerable self-analysis and probing into your past patterns, but all the work will be more than worth it. You’re on the verge of discovering just how powerful, strong and resilient you are at your very core. If you have ever doubted your strength, after 2013 you’ll never question your resourcefulness again.” 

I’m not one for this horoscope stuff but I can at least relate to this for once. 2013 is the year of pain for me.

It started with the pain of failure, when I realized I did not do as well as I expected for my A levels.

Then, the physical pain began, I tore two of my ankle ligaments, making it extremely painful to even walk. Following which, I broke my collarbone, and the once monotonous simplicities of life such as eating, typing on this keyboard and writing became a painful ordeal. Not to mention the 99999 jabs and blood tests I had to take prior to my surgery.

Don’t get me started on the emotional pain. I honestly admit, there are nights when I wake up out of nowhere, crying. My subconscious seemed to understand my pain, because my dreams made me cry, a lot. Losing a loved one can do that to a person. Losing two in the same week, well… you can imagine.

And now, my old friend pain has visited me again, in the form of Shingles. So basically, its a subsidiary of chicken pox that lies dormant in your body from the time you had chicken pox until enough stress or a weakened immune system activates the virus. The virus itself attacks the nerves of the body, causing ugly, snakeskin like bumps to appear. (Trust me, you don’t want to see it. But I can always whatsapp you the image if you are curious HAHA)

Let me describe the sensation to you. Whereas a cut or a bruise causes pain externally, Shingles attacks the nerves, causing electric shock-like sensations which cannot be ignored. Imagine red ants crawling over various parts of your body, biting down on you. The kind of bite that makes you jump. They bite, over and over, relentlessly, furiously. After a prolonged period of this pain, you start to lose the ability to focus on anything else completely. Sort of like forcing yourself to be distracted (by typing on your blog for example) But the ants never stop biting, onslaught after onslaught, they charge. Its now 624 AM and I haven’t slept since I woke up yesterday morning. But how can I? The moment I lay on my bed, I feel the ants. Its way too painful to sleep.

But then again, pain and I are starting to come to an understanding.

P.S. Lesson learnt, as soon as you see any rashes appear, go and see the doctor. I went a bit too late, and that’s the reason I’m in this terribly painful predicament today. Do not just put ointment and go to bed thinking everything will be okay tomorrow.

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